Friday, September 4, 2009

Worst Movie Ever?

Laurie and I went to see "Inglourious Basterds" last night. Our pal Bob Greenberger gave it a thumbs-up so, despite the fact that Laurie does not like Quentin Tarantino's films, we gave it a shot. Laurie made it about halfway through before departing for another theatre in the multi-plex. (You can find her review over on her blog.)

On the way home, we were talking about the worst movie we have ever seen, It is actually a tough question, because there have been a number of movies we have started watching and never finished. I think the first one we rented that fell into that category was "Dune." There have been numerous others over the years, most of them borrowed from the library; we tend to give movies that we can see for free a try, figuring that if they are bad, they're worth every penny we paid.

Certainly, there plenty of bad movies have been made. In a separate category are ones like "Plan 9 From Outer Space," which is soooo bad that you have to watch it . And others, like the original "Invaders from Mars," which scared the bejeebers out of us as kids, are now almost comical.

During the CTY portion of my summers, we see a lot of bad movies. We have a special discount on Tuesday nights at the local Chester 5 movie theater and many of the staffers will go and see whichever summer blockbusters are playing. Good or bad, for $5 (or in the first few years, $4), it was a nice break for us all. In fact, it got to be routine that if someone complained about a movie being particularly lousy, I would say, "Yes, but it only cost you $4."
One particular evening we saw what pretty much everyone agreed was the worst movie we'd ever seen during a CTY summer. It was so bad that my fellow instructor Chuck started mumbling to our dorm mate Joe, "If Bob says, 'Well, it only cost $4,' I'm going to hit him!"
Joe took this as a challenge and during the ride back to the campus, he kept saying, "Boy, that movie was really bad. What do you think, Bob? Wasn't that movie really bad?" At first, I just agreed with him. Then he said, "Yeah, that might be the worst movie we've ever seen, but as you always say..."
"It only cost $4," I said.
At which point, Chuck yelled, "Arrrgh!"
And hit Joe.

Needless to say, we've sat through some pretty terrible movies over the years at the Chester 5. (To be fair, we've also seen some very good ones!) There have been weeks when none of the five offerings seem worth it, but since I am the one who made the deal with the theatre owners for the discount, I feel obligated to make use of it. One week a few summers ago, only two of us went to see a movie about giant spiders; it turned out to be rather entertaining. Since we were expecting it to be bad, we were surprised when it actually had some entertaining moments.
There are a few CTYers who will proclaim that "Miami Vice" is the worst movie we've ever spent a summer evening watching. It certainly had most of us scratching our heads and wondering what the plot was.
But the film that holds the distinction of being "The Worst CTY Movie Ever"? It was one that almost the entire staff went to see, expecting it to be funny and entertaining. It was neither.
And so, if you ask anyone who was there (and even some who weren't), they will say "Legally Blonde 2" is the winner.
But, hey, it only cost $4.

1 comment:

  1. This is a pretty big question, with a lot of candidates, considering the amount of pure refuse that Hollywood churns out. But for me, the answer is the Tomb Raider movie... the only movie I've ever gotten up from and gotten a refund.