On the Radio

  My drive home from work usually takes between twelve and fifteen minutes. (To those of you with long commutes who are sighing and thinking, "Wow, wish mine was that short!": I have to say, "Been there, done that." When I worked at DC Comics, my drive-to-the-station / train / subway-or-walk combo took at least ninety minutes each way -- when everything was running on time!)
  Somehow, my brief commute coincides with when a number of local radio stations are running blocks of commercials rather than playing music. Since I'm not in the car that long, it doesn't really matter that much. And they do break up the commercials with traffic reports (which don't matter to me) and weather reports (which do).
  I don't pay that much attention to the commercials, though every now and then one will catch my ear. Like the one for the gasoline that has some new "energerific" additive. The spokesman goes on and on about how wonderful this is, but buried in the fast-talking mumbo-jumbo at the end is the line, "Depending on your vehicle and how you drive it, you may see an improvement of three to five miles per tankful." (Emphasis mine.) Wow! Sure makes me want to drive around trying to find a gas station selling this brand!
  Then there are the ads that remind us to drive safely because school is open. I've never really understood this campaign. Shouldn't we be more careful when the kids are not in school, since they could be out playing in the streets? For that matter, shouldn't we drive safely all the time?
  But perhaps the most intriguing ad I heard was one that asked for people who wanted to play a vital role in the security and defense of our country. If so, the Central Intelligence Agency wants you.
  The CIA advertises on the radio?! It made me think of a new version of the old ads that used to appear in the comic books, changed to "We're looking for people who like to spy."