Swimsover 2013

Those of you who follow my maniacal desire to get maximum use out of the pool know that Columbus Day is the unofficial last day of the season. On Monday, with the water at about 65 degrees according to the Temperature Team, I went in, but only up to my knees. (I have been known to go for an actual swim with the water that cool, but that's only when the air temperature is higher than the water temp, which was not the case.)

So now the cover is in place and all the components are packed away. Oh, I'll still get a few more afternoons of sitting poolside if the weather is nice, but it's not the same when you can't see the water.

We've scheduled the reopening for April 15, 2014, so it is only six months to the next First Dunk! Or about a week and a half, the way time seems to fly by.

Just a Story...

The new president of the Tenants' Association at 438 Washington Street calls the meeting to order. When it is time to discuss new business, he tells the members, "As you know, we have allowed tenants to occupy the two apartments in the basement, though the plumbing layout has them sharing a single bathroom. I propose that we hire a company to renovate the piping down there and allow each tenant to have a separate bathroom."
 
One of the building's tenants, Richie, objects. He says that the plan is impractical, far too expensive and will never work properly. He also says that the Association should vote to cut back on the existing plumbing system because it is becoming more and more expensive to maintain. The president and many of the members are puzzled by Richie's reaction, but nod and smile politely.
 
The members vote on the proposal and pass it by a substantial margin. The president calls Don the Plumber, who listens and comes up with a plan. "But," Don cautions, "it is not going to be a simple job and I may run into glitches -- meaning additional expenses -- as we install it."
 
"That's okay," the president assures him, because providing adequate plumbing to the basement tenants is an absolute necessity.
 
At the next meeting, the president presents Don's plan for the renovations, including the costs and how it will be paid for. Richie objects; he announces that he is determined to stop the work. He demands another vote, which, in order to mollify Richie, the president allows. Once again the proposal is approved.
 
Richie demands that a select committee be formed to review the plans and present its findings at the next meeting. Because he is so vociferous, enough of the members vote in favor of forming the committee. Not surprisingly, Richie demands he be appointed to it.
 
At the next meeting, the committee presents their findings: The plan is sound, the funding is practical, and the work should begin. Their vote was not unanimous; there was, to no one's surprise, a dissenting vote cast by Richie.
 
Richie now demands that the entire association vote on the issue again. Realizing that arguing against another re-vote will simply be a waste of time, the president again puts the issue on the floor. For the third time, it passes.
 
Don and his crew arrive the next morning, ready to begin the work. They are confronted by Richie, placard reading "Stop the Project Now!" in hand, blocking their path. The president and several of the tenants try to move Richie, but he refuses to give way. Reluctantly, the president calls the police.
 
When the officer arrives, he explains to Richie that, while he is free to express his opinion, he cannot prevent Don from working. Richie objects and claims that there is no permit for the work and that Don's license is a fake. Presented with these claims, the police officer has no choice but to investigate their veracity.

The work is delayed as Don has to get a letter from the County Clerk affirming his license as well as have the Department of Public Works verify that they have reviewed and approved the plans.
 
While Don is doing this, Richie goes to some of the neighbors, telling them that the plumbing plan is wrong, that it will hurt property values, and will ultimately destroy the entire plumbing system of the building. Several of these neighbors go to the president demanding an explanation; he calmly explains the plan and points out where Richie is blatantly lying. Since none of them disagree about each tenant having a separate bathroom, they decide there is, in fact, nothing to be concerned about.
 
Finally, Don is about to start the work. He and his crew arrive, mildly surprised that Richie is not in front of the building again trying to block the way. The president is relieved that Richie appears to have given up.
 
Don and his crew have just started to work when all the electricity in the basement is turned off. He comes upstairs to report the outage to the president and discovers many of the neighbors in the hallway, all complaining that their power is also out.
 
A quick check determines that the outage is the result of something outside the building. Tenants make their way out to the street. Down the block they spot Richie, sitting at the top of a utility pole, waving. "I've cut off the power," he yells, "and I'm not turning it on again until you give up your plan to put in those bathrooms!"
 
When a tenant complains that, in addition to cutting off power for Don and his crew, Richie has also cut it to their apartments, he points at the president and says, "It's all his fault."

"We all voted in favor of doing this work," shouts another tenant.

"Not all of us. Those bathrooms will bring ruin to the whole building!" Richie replies.
 
"I'll leave this to you," says Don to the president. "We've got battery-powered lanterns and tools, so we can go to work anyway." He and his crew return to the basement.
 
"How long do you think he'll stay up there?" one of the tenants asks the president.
 
"Who knows? A couple of hours? A day? At this point, he's ticking off the rest of the tenants. Probably only a matter of time before one of them comes up with a way to get him down..."

Scott Carpenter (1925-2013)

Courtesy of my Uncle Jimmy, a photo autographed by all seven of the Mercury astronauts, though some of them don't show up in this scan. That's Alan Shepard, Wally Schirra and John Glenn in the back with Gus Grissom, Scott Carpenter, Deke Slayton and Gordon Cooper in the front. I did not mention to Scott Carpenter that he had smudged his signature on this photo.

I met former astronaut Scott Carpenter when we were both guests at an I-Con at SUNY Stony Brook back in the late 1980s. (Unlike other comic conventions, I-Con had a "hard science" component and the guest list included noted scientists, professors, and explorers.) We were sitting in the guest lounge shortly before we each had to head off to sit on panels.

I mentioned to Carpenter that he and I had a connection that dated back to his days in the space program. My Uncle Jimmy was a NASA engineer, working at Langley Air Force Base in Virginia back when the Mercury astronauts were also stationed there. My cousin Peter went to school with the sons of Carpenter, Wally Schirra and Gus Grissom. To my surprise, he remembered Uncle Jimmy -- "He was that little bald guy!"

We chatted about his post-NASA days and his interest in sea exploration. We also noted the coincidence of I-Con being at Stony Brook, as that was also the name of the housing development the astronauts and NASA staff lived in in Newport News.

With the time of our respective panels approaching, I said that I wanted to use the men's room before going on my way. I told Carpenter about Schwartz's Law, named for DC Editor Julie Schwartz: "Don't go anywhere without going first."

Carpenter replied with his own version, courtesy of President Lyndon Johnson. "After I made my space flight, I was in a ticker-tape parade, riding in the car with then-Vice President Johnson. He told me, 'Now that you're famous, there are two things you should never pass up: Free lunch and a chance to go to the bathroom!'" And thus was born Lyndon Johnson's Corollary to Schwartz's Law.

Our paths did not cross again at the convention, but I was glad to have had the chance to speak with him. When I next spoke to Uncle Jimmy, I mentioned that Carpenter remembered him. My uncle's response? "He called me 'that little bald guy'?!"

This Month in Alex's World

  Alex had his first sleepover at Grandma and Grandpa's as Chuck and Rebecca celebrated their seventh wedding anniversary with a one-night weekend away. He had great fun exploring the house and playing with Grandma's stash of toys. He even got to spend time with Aunt Sammi, who was in town for a visit.
  He (and we) had a wonderful time and look forward to the next visit.

BobRo Archives: The Harlequin

As I mentioned in the previous posting, I had written a script for the first in a back-up series and said series would have started in issue #2 of The Vixen, a book that never even had its first issue published. The star of the series was to have been none other than Duela Dent a.k.a. The Harlequin a.k.a. The Joker’s Daughter. From the archives is a lightly edited online column from back in 2000...

Duela’s comics career began in Batman Family #6, where she was introduced as a foe for Robin. She reappeared in following issues, taking on such guises as Catwoman’s Daughter, The Penguin’s Daughter and the Scarecrow’s Daughter. Somewhere along the way, editor Julie Schwartz and I decided that we wanted to keep her around and so we moved her over to TEEN TITANS, where she took on the new identity of The Harlequin.

Oh, yes, and we established that she was actually the daughter of Harvey “Two-Face” Dent. Using what I called “selective aging” so that Duela could be the same age as Dick Grayson -- despite the fact that Harvey became Two-Face when Dick was already a Boy Wonder -- we glossed over the blatant flaw in her history. This incidence of playing fast and loose has resulted in other writers using the character in ways I’m not particularly fond of -- turning Duela into a patient in a psych ward who doesn’t know who she really is.

But back in 1978, Duela was an accepted member of the DC Universe, so much so that Jack C. Harris, editor of The Vixen, chose her to fill the back-slot in that magazine. As far as I can remember, no artist had been selected for the series I don’t know if I was even paid for writing it. It has been sitting in a file in my basement for more than thirty years, a lost piece of a DC history that might have been if not for the DC Implosion.

PAGE ONE
 

Panel 1:           [We’re in an alleyway in the dark. Working with a flashlight, a pair of two-bit crooks – Ace and Biff – are trying to jimmy a lock on a door marked DOUBLE-K HARDWARE – DELIVERY ENTRANCE.  They are startled by laughter echoing in the darkness.]

CAPTION:     MIDNIGHT in a darkened alleyway in STAR CITY…

LAUGHTER: HAHAHAHAHA! (open lettering, floating)
ACE:               Whuzzat?!?

Panel 2:           [Okay, here’s a tricky bit we’re going to establish here and use from time to time. We’re looking over the shoulders of Ace and Biff down the alley. What we see in the dark are the face and white diamonds on the costume of the Harlequin. Make this look really weird and unnerving. She’s still laughing.]

BIFF:              Lookit! Some kinda SPOOK!

HARLEQUIN:       HAHAHAHA! (open, floating)

Panel 3:           [SPLASH PANEL – 2/3 of the page. Now Biff shines the flashlight on Harlequin and we see she is standing with hands on her hips, staring at the two startled crooks.]

ACE:               Looks like THE JOKER…in DRAG!

CAPTION:     Not quite, friend – and too bad for you… because the laughing lady is NOT on YOUR side of the law!

CAPTION #2:            To your distress, you will learn all too soon that she is one of the good guys – and that her name is…

LOGO:            THE HARLEQUIN

**

PAGE TWO
 

Panel 1:           [In a multiple image we see Harlequin pulling something from her “bag of tricks” on her hip and throwing it at Ace and Biff. Harlequin is laughing.]

CAPTION:     Though her costume seems designed to amuse, her moves are not those of a clown…

HARLEQUIN: HAHAHAHA! (open, floating)

 Panel 2:           [Now we see that what harlequin has thrown are a pair of diamonds similar to the shapes on her costume. Both are arcing through the air at Biff, still holding the flashlight.]

HARLEQUIN: HAHAHAHA! (open, floating)

Panel 3:           [One of the diamonds hits Biff in the arm, causing him to drop the flashlight. The second goes through the top of his jacket, pinning him to the wall behind him.]

CAPTION:     …and, indeed, her opponents will find this no laughing matter.

HARLEQUIN: HAHAHAHA! (open, floating)
BIFF:              YEEOWW!

Panel 4:           [Okay, here’s where you get to play with some strange lighting effects. The flashlight is now lying on the ground, so the scene is lit only from below, giving it a weird look. We see that Ace has snapped open a switchblade, which gleams in the light.]

ACE:               Cute trick, lady – but let’s hear how much you laugh after I cut you open!

HARLEQUIN: HAHAHAHA! (open, floating)

 Panel 5:           [Close on Harlequin reaching up and grabbing part of her neck ruffle. She continues to laugh.]

HARLEQUIN: HAHAHAHA! (open, floating)

Panel 6:           [Now we see Harlequin flipping her arm towards Ace, who is approaching her with the switchblade held menacingly in front of him. We see Harlequin’s neck ruffle is loose from around her neck and one end is flying through the air at Ace, while Harlequin holds the other end.]

HARLEQUIN: HAHAHAHA! (open, floating)

ACE:               WHA--?!?

**
PAGE THREE

Panel 1:           [The ruffle wraps around Ace’s knife hand and the trunk of his body in such a way that the switchblade is now pointed at his own throat.]

ACE:               YIIII!

HARLEQUIN: HAHAHA! Now – give me the answers I want … or that SWITCH-BLADE will end up someplace most UNCOMFORTABLE!

 Panel 2:           [Now we see Ace, sweating, scared as the knife in his hand is held against his throat. Behind him, Biff is struggling to pull himself free of the wall, still held fast by the diamond.]

ACE:               Yeah, yeah – anything you want to know! Just ask… but, please don’t TUG on that thing!          
HARLEQUIN:           Agreed… if you tell me where I can find TWO-FACE!

 Panel 3:           [Ace stutters and gulps visibly. Biff is offering information from behind.]

ACE:               T-T-TWO-FACE?? We ain’t seen him in years… since we quit his old gang!BIFF:              But we heard something through the grapevine… about how he broke out of ARKHAM ASYLUM last week –

Panel 4:           [Harlequin pulls slightly on the ruffle, nudging the switchblade against Ace’s neck. He’s scared, telling Biff to talk. Harlequin is laughing.]

ACE:               AWWK! Tell her, Biff!

HARLEQUIN: Yes, Biff… TELL ME!
BIFF:              The word is TWO-FACE is in NEW YORK, setting up somethin’ LEGIT…

Panel 5:           [Now we’re looking over the shoulders of really scared Ace and Biff as we see only the white diamonds of Harlequin as she disappears back down the alleyway. Ace is rubbing his neck, holding the switchblade in his other hand, staring down the alleyway.

CAPTION:     “…as a front for a new operation! But that’s all we heard – HONEST!”

HARLEQUIN: HAHAHAHA! (open, floating)
BIFF:              WEIRD! All she wanted was that information and she let you go –
“#2:                 -- she didn’t even try to turn us in!

Panel 6:           [Now we are looking at Harlequin as she is into an old, somewhat beat-up small car, along the lines of a Volkswagen Beetle. She’s smiling.]

HARLEQUIN (thot):  Not a bad routine, that! Sort of a cross between BATMAN and THE JOKER…

“#2 (thot):       …and VERY effective!
“#3 (thot):       But I wonder what those two would say if they knew…

**

PAGE FOUR

Panel 1:           [Now we see Harlequin’s Volks going down a four-lane highway. There’s a sign reading NEW YORK – 60 MILES.]

HARLEQUIN (thot):             …that the frightening woman so interested in TWO-FACE is HIS DAUGHTER!

Panel 2:           [FLASHBACK! See TEEN TITANS #48, page 2, panel 2. Gilda Dent is carrying baby Duela in one hand and a suitcase in the other.]

CAPTION [Harlequin’s head inset]: “A daughter whose mother was driven away by her husband’s mania --
BOTTOM CAPTION:  “--his obsession with the number TWO could not allow him to love or even accept ONE child!”

Panel 3:           [FLASHBACK! Gilda Dent is sitting in a chair with eight-year-old Duela on her lap. There is a photo of an unscarred Harvey Dent on the table next to them. Duela is pointing at the picture.]

CAPTION:     “But Momma always loved him and kept his secret from me for years – praying for the day when he would be cured…”
DUELA:         Momma – when is Daddy coming home?

GILDA:          Someday, Duela… someday soon!

 Panel 4:           [FLASHBACK! Now seventeen years old, Duela is shocked, comparing a magazine page photo of Two-Face to the photo on the table. Same scene as previous panel, just ten years later.]

CAPTION:     “But it was a secret I seemed destined to discover—“

DUELA(thot):            It-It’s UNBELIEVABLE! My father is…TWO-FACE!!

 Panel 5:           [Montage panel across the bottom of the page. The montage shows The Joker’s Daughter battling Robin atop the Hudson University Unispan (from Batman Family#6); Joker’s Daughter with the Teen Titans (TT #48, page 2, panel 4); and Harlequin in her present costume battling Captain Calamity (TT #52, page 4, panel 3).]

CAPTION:     “From that day, I vowed that at least one member of the Dent family would serve the side of the law – to atone for the sins of my father…”

BOTTOM CAPTION: “First by becoming THE JOKER’S DAUGHTER to learn ROBIN’s secret identity –
“#2:     “—which proved to him I was a worthy recruit for the Teen Titans…
“#3      “…where I changed to my HARLEQUIN identity and perfected my act before they broke up!”

**

PAGE FIVE

Panel 1:           [Back to the present. Now we see Duela Dent getting out of her Volks in a New York City parking lot. She is getting a numbered ticket from the parking attendant. In the background is a sign showing the outlandish parking rates and another that reads NEW YORK'S MOST CONVENIENT PARKING LOT. It is daytime.]

DUELA(thot):            Call it a vendetta…or maybe just the desire to keep it “in the family” – but I feel obligated to bring Daddy back whenever he escapes!

“#2(thot):        Sure, BATMAN or one of the other big names could wrap him up just as fast – but THEY usually wait till he pulls something!

Panel 2:           [Close on Duela flipping through a phone book.]

DUELA(thot):            I’m determined to stop him BEFORE he starts!

“#2(thot):        Hmmm… so many possibilities –

Panel 3:           [Her ‘bag of tricks” doubling as a pocketbook, we see that Duela has disguised herself, placing a short-cut blonde wig on her head. She’s wearing a man-tailored suit with a scarf and boots.]

DUELA(thot):            -- only thing to do is check them all out…but NOT as Duela Dent!

“#2(thot):        Daddy would recognize me in a minute!

Panel 4:           [Weary-looking Duela, still in the blonde wig, is on the observation deck of the Empire State Building, looking southward at the city. The World Trade towers are in the distance. The sun is setting.]

CAPTION:     But, after an exhausting day all over the BIG APPLE…

DUELA(thot):            Whew! I’ve checked everything from SECOND-hand furniture stores to DOUBLE-dip ice cream parlors…
“#2(thot):        …and come up with ZIPPO!

Panel 5:           [Now focus over Duela’s shoulder as she stares at the World Trade towers.]

DUELA(thot):            I don’t think there’s ANYWHERE in this city I haven’t checked…

“#2(thot):        …except…the WORLD TRADE CENTER –

Panel 6:           [Now we’re in the lobby of the World Trade Center. Duela is still in the blonde disguise, staring at the building directory.]

CAPTION:     “—otherwise known as the TWIN towers!”

DUELA(thot):            Curious! One firm has TWO offices – one in each of the towers… and BOTH with the same number!
“#2(thot):        It’s worth checking –

**

PAGE SIX

Panel 1:           [Now we’re upstairs in one of the Towers. Don’t make it too obvious, but the office Duela is breaking into is 2222. The office is dark inside.]

DUELA(thot):            Looks like nobody’s home here –

Panel 2:           [In the darkened office, Duela is staring out the window across at the other Tower. There is one window lit and it is directly opposite the room she is in. We can see into the lit office and there is someone sitting at a desk. Duela is removing her blonde wig here.]

DUELA(thot):            -- but somebody is burning the midnight oil in the firm’s OTHER office…

Panel 3:           [Series of tight vertical panels across the middle of the page showing Duela turning her outfit into the Harlequin costume. The wig is turned inside out to show purple hair. The scarf becomes her neck-ruffle. The suit jacket turns inside out to become her top. The slacks unzip at the sides and fold back to show the Harlequin design inside.]

DUELA(thot):            …and the odds are TWO-TO-TWO…

“#2(thot):        …that the “late worker” over there…
“#3(thot):        …is really the ONLY member of the firm –

Panel 4:           [Across the bottom of the page. Give us a nice dramatic shot looking down at the street far below as Harlequin swings via rope from the one office towards the lighted window in the other Tower.]

HARLEQUIN (thot): -- none other than ‘DEAR OLD DAD”!

 **

PAGE SEVEN

Panel 1:           [Nice shot of Harlequin crashing through the window into the lit office. Two-Face, sitting at the desk, looks up, only mildly startled.]

SOUND:         KLASMASSSHHH!

TWO-FACE:  Hunh?!
HARLEQUIN:  Hiya, Daddy – bet you never expected ME to come and visit your office!

Panel 2:           [Two-Face is standing up as Harlequin reaches into her bag of tricks. We see his silver dollar on the desk.]

TWO-FACE:  Harlequin…DUELA!

HARLEQUIN: Nice of you to remember who I am –
“#2:                 -- but I must admit this isn’t a friendly visit…

 Panel 3:           [We see that Harlequin has pulled out a small “can” with a screw-top lid, which she is unscrewing.]

HARLEQUIN: …I’ve come to take you back to Arkham –

Panel 4:           [The lid is off the can, and shooting out of it is a “snake” like in those gag peanut butter jars. The “snake” is flying right at Two-face, who stands still, doing nothing to avoid it.]

HARLEQUIN: -- where they’ll try again to keep you WRAPPED up!

Panel 5:           [The “snake” now wraps around Two-Face like a cocoon, making him virtually helpless.]

HARLEQUIN: Hey, are you sick or someting… not even putting up a fight?

TWO-FACE:  No, Duela – I have every intention of returning to Arkham with you… after we TALK!

**

PAGE EIGHT

Panel 1:           [Harlequin is puzzled. Two-Face continues to talk. He motions with his chin towards the silver dollar on the desk.]

HARLEQUIN:  Hunh?!?

TWO-FACE:  I arranged my escape only so that YOU would track me down… I KNEW you would!
“#2:                 If you don’t believe I’m telling the truth, look at my lucky silver dollar!

Panel 2:           [Harlequin is staring down at the silver dollar which lies on the desk, unscarred side up.(The date on it is 1922, by the way.)]

HARLEQUIN: The GOOD SIDE is up…which means –

TWO-FACE:  -- that what I’m about to tell you is reliable!

Panel 3:           [Close on Two-Face, still wrapped up.]

TWO-FACE:  Even in Arkham, the underworld news gets around… and I’ve heard something really BIG is cooking!

“#2:                 One of the ROOTS is growing out of Hudson University, where YOU got to school!

Panel 4:           [Now focus on the puzzled Harlequin.]         

HARLEQUIN: But why this elaborate scheme to let me know? Why not just write me a letter?

TWO-FACE:  Would you have BELIEVED it?
HARLEQUIN: No…I guess not!

Panel 5:           [Two-shot. Harlequin is starting to unwrap Two-Face.]

HARLEQUIN: Wouldn’t it be better to pass the info on to BATMAN… or maybe the JUSTICE LEAGUE?

TWO-FACE:  Possibly, but YOU are my daughter…

Panel 6:           [Tight shot of Two-Face with a bemused look on his face.]

TWO-FACE:  …and at least HALF of me is proud of what you’ve done – and wants to help you to succeed!

Panel 7:           [Blurb across the bottom of the page.]

BLURB:         What information does Two-Face hold? And how will it affect The Harlequin? The answers will stun you… NEXT ISSUE! Be here!

**

 

I sure hope the answers would have stunned you, but thirty-plus years after I wrote that script, I have no idea where the plot was going. Since I was scripting the Robin, Batgirl, and Man-Bat series at the time, it’s a safe bet one or more of those characters would have ended up involved. (Two-Face’s comment about Hudson University, where Dick Grayson was also a student, makes the Teen Wonder’s part in it a virtual certainty.)

It’s quite possible that somewhere else in my files is a handwritten sheet of notes outlining plans for the Harlequin… and maybe some day I’ll find it. Till then, your guess is as good as mine.